How to Be Nice?

After all this time, I still don’t know how to be firm enough and nice enough at the same time, when people give me advice about my condition that is factually incorrect. Someone once said to me that I should just nod and listen but then just let it brush off me.

But they don’t get that if I did that, there are a number of problems. The first is that it happens to me ALL.THE.TIME. I spend very limited hours a week with people and so to encounter one of these almost every single time is not only tedious and boring but it is a terrible waste of my precious energy.

Secondly, and this is even more important is that people are kind and loving and they want to help me. So they follow up. They want to know if it worked.. what I thought.. and often they simply want affirmation that their idea is so wonderful. Their motives are sooo good, that they invest in the outcome.

So what do I do then … lie? Nope! Pretend? Nope? But when I tell them the truth they don’t listen. When I tell them that I’ve already tried it or the theory behind it does not apply to what I have or that I am already trialing other things and can’t interfere with the process, they brush me aside.

If I had a broken leg, drinking a cocktail made from broken legs will NOT fix it.

What a stupid analogy they say. But my collagen (each and every collagen cell in my body) is broken (has a piece missing) so drinking collagen will not change that! And I don’t have the heart to tell them that their suggestion is no less silly than that.

My body is not fighting itself, it isn’t riddled with disease, it isn’t toxic or imbalanced or too acidic or alkaline. It’s just missing a little bit. Lots of little bits. Lots and lots and lots of very little bits.

And neither teas nor powders nor pills nor potions can replace them. But how do I tell people that?

Where Jennifer hangs out: Blog | The Mighty | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Goodreads | Amazon

“Here she comes, running, out of prison and off the pedestal: chains off, crown off, halo off, just a live woman.”  ― Charlotte Perkins Gilman

4 thoughts on “How to Be Nice?

  1. Take your stick, raise the end by 75 degrees, swing back, and clunk the “helpful” people over the head. Tell them to drink some liquidised brains and their headache will disappear. People can be so, so, unhelpful ❤ xx


  2. Just last night I had to explain that ginger supplements will do absolutely nada for failing digestive organs. I think what’s most effective for me is giving an architecture analogy: compare a house of steel and concrete to one of jello and porcelain. Clearly, one is more vulnerable and weak, and no substance or action will change how it’s built.


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