I found this on Twitter the other day and it was free, and it looked interesting, and it is written by someone who I really admire. I came across him on Twitter about 6 months ago and have been following him and his blog ever since. He seems to me to be such a brave man, and a really genuine person. What a huge deal to put himself and his pain and his journey out there into the world, so that others can learn and be encouraged by him. I can only hope to be that brave and “out there” one day as he is!
None of us choose the platform that we have been given to write and share about and I don’t know about you, but none of us would choose it if we even had the opportunity. In most humanly possible ways I would choose to be boring and pain free… or at least I think that I would. But the reality is that very few of us get that, and no one I know is truly protected from the pain of grief, whether through death, abuse or injury, I keep hearing the same things over and over again… there is grief in loss, grief in any kind of pain.
The thing is though, we see much of the word grief and the stages that we go through out there in the world and for many of us we simply assume that that only applies to people who have lost someone and we think of denial as being a little bit stupid (to think that it isn’t happening). But in real life, denial and anger and all those stages are hard to pinpoint and appear to defy logic. Matt has a unique way of unpacking this in his book as he walks the reader through very practical steps of healthily negotiating each step.
We go through grief every time we move jobs or houses or partners or friendships. Loss is all around us. And one of the hardest things to grasp grief around is chronic illness and abuse. We are told to move on, not complain, to get over things, and so on, when in reality, those messages force us into denial! Comments like “well you escaped that person so you are fine now”, or “you have been sick long enough” and so on, get in the way of us making healthy progress through the stages of grief, and we land up getting stuck and unable to become the best we can under our circumstances.
I have SO much more to say about this but for now, if you or your loved ones have been in any way traumatized by illness, abuse or both (for they often go hand in hand for all kinds of reasons for a discussion on another day), then I highly reccomend this easy to read book. For now, while this book is free, do yourself a favor and grab a copy! Matt knows what he is talking about and he deals with each stage in a truly vulnerable and yet safe way.