Part of my self enforced spoon management plan is that I have divided up my weeks, my spoons and allocated certain things to certain days. It didn’t really work at first, but then as I started blogging about it I felt compelled to walk the walk and stick to it, I felt (in a good way) that my readers were keeping me accountable. How can I answer their questions about it when I am not always sticking to it.
Mondays at first were the major game changer, but I was so sore and exhausted by Sunday night that Mondays were spent in rest, ….but also in pretty bad shape. I have been doing Mondays for about a decade now, way before diagnosis, but I also often cheated and paid the price. The past three months Mondays have been mandatory and have become my favourite day of the week because due to proper pacing I am well enough to write most of the day on Mondays now, …so clearly it is working. But when the change really came, was when I looked after other days of the week as well (I’ll save the details for later and keep this short). But Fridays became my “Friendly Day”. I use it to connect in real life with others, but it is also about being friendly to myself and keeping it low key, extremely local, and low stress.
- Fridays are not a good day for a huge crowd. Save one of those for the weekend.
- No appointments on Fridays! (Appointments are draining both physically and mentally, and often they are frustrating and need action and/or processing). I save appointments for Tuesdays and Wednesdays only, and try and go into the weekend feeling like a “normal” person.
- Only one thing at a time! I only schedule one thing on a Friday, either morning or afternoon, but no deadlines and no rushing.
- Those friends (who will still have me), now know that Fridays are a great day for a catch up. I get dressed properly, I go to their house (all in the same suburb), I have book club once a month, and I teach ceramics to a small group of friends 2 Fridays a month in a friends home. These days are good for my soul in different ways, and they are safe environments. Others gladly do the set up and clean up, and they always make me my tea and treat me with care.
- Friday nights are home nights. This has always worked really well in our family as my hubby works long hard hours during the week and he has always needed to hide with us on Friday nights. So we stay home and either read in bed or watch a movie.
With a properly paced week and a Friendly Friday, I feel connected to the small group of social friends, I feel like I am in the loop, participate, and even teach a little still. I can then hit the weekend with the most spoons, the least new medical worries, and feeling somewhat upbeat. Of course there are weekend rules too, but these Friendly Fridays, to me and with friends, are a vital part of my survival strategy.