Here it is! End of month one!
It’s exactly what I was afraid of, my number one fear was that like last August, my weight loss dropped and then stopped. It’s like there is a glass floor that I just can’t break through! When I did this eight years ago, that graph line was just as bumpy, but it went DOWN, and kept going DOWN. But this flattening out is not cool, and it is the point where I gave up last August. It bottomed out and wouldn’t budge, and I think that I would have pushed through had it not been for all my other traumas of the same time, …. the meds that were added because of the massive allergic reaction to sun screen, the even more limited eating because of the allergies, and the weeks that I spent in bed unable to move at all.
It all went to the dogs and while I am very annoyed about that, looking back I don’t think that I could have done anything differently! I wasn’t prepared for any of those pitfalls and I had no skills to get myself out again.
But this time was supposed to be different! I preplanned everything, including Flare strategies, I pre-cooked a TON of veggies that I am able to eat, I planned my life with a ton of rest and as much physio as I can manage, and it seemed to work! I survived and persisted through two fairly large Flares, which both left me in bed and unable to move, and I even listened to my heart and spoiled myself when needed but with a huge level of restraint! … all the while fearing that because of either last year’s pain meds, age, a combination of both, or any other reason, this glass floor is permanent!
So at weigh in yesterday, exactly one month in, the graph does not look pleasing at all!
However, I am NOT going to give up this time. This year is about winning, and if I get to July and that glass floor is still there, …. then I will accept it, we shall move on, and we simply make new clothes! I will KNOW that I have tried my level best, that there just aren’t any other options, and we will deal with what we are left with.
On the other hand, I might also win! Another month of this may well smash a hole in that glass floor (even if it takes me a month!!!) and who knows, it may just get easier again after that! …. But if I don’t try, then I will never know, and I have some momentum going which is always the hardest part and I don’t want to lose that! So here goes!!
…and February here we come,
….and here’s to smashing glass floors!!!