I wrote this yesterday morning before leaving for the hospital …
Today I am having a CT scan. “Have you ever had a CT scan before” they asked. “Bring in your old images” they said.
Um… it’s a while since I’ve had an abdominal CT scan, so I went digging for the old images at the back of the cupboard, and pulled them out to work out which ones to take. And I was a little taken aback seeing my history like that!
It’s not as though I had forgotten that this battle didn’t only start on diagnosis. It’s not that I had forgotten that so many parts of my body hurt and that each ache and pain and problem has a story, and that each story is loooong, and complicated beyond measure… it’s just that you move on, you try and forget, and more often than not there is a new medical crisis to deal with. And you tell the current medical practitioners that there is a history, that this isn’t the first time, and it isn’t a one off, …. but they don’t want to know. It’s all too hard. And each incident is treated as a one off injury…
For someone who has never broken a bone, or been in a serious car accident, or some other crazy accident of another kind, this an awful lot of images! And this is just the stuff from the mid nineties and early 2000s!! It’s only about a decade’s worth! I’ve lost the stuff from the decade before then because I didn’t think thatI needed it, and from the mid to late 2000s to now the images started coming on CDs and DVDs (although I do have a colonoscopy on VHS from the early 1990s!!!!!). So I have in my stash, over twice this many “incidents”!!! All pics of benign tumours, slack organs, and crappy ligaments! Each of these envelops has not only CT scans, MRI scans, ultrasounds and X-rays, of my right foot, left ankle, right ankle, chest, breast, lung, heart, abdominal scans of all kinds, bone scans, barium meal follow through etc …. and I’ve misplaced the ones of my right wrist, right elbow, …. blah blah blah
In case you were wondering where all the evidence is that this has been a problem for most of my life, here is a good place to start:
(the nectarine gives an idea of scale, these are all big and heavy, … bigger than A3… and for what ever reason they are quite heavy)