I don’t really do New Year’s Resolutions. For all kinds of reasons. I don’t think that they are a bad thing as such, but I also hear that they cause much disappointment down the track. One of the things that I have learnt in life is that you won’t reach your goals unless your goal is quantifiable, you have a plan on how to get there, and can break it down into chunks… and other stuff… which is kind of why NY Resolutions rarely work, because they are made with such good intentions, but don’t come with a plan or a manual or any other way to actually get there.
On that note I also have a HUGE issue with the memes around that show 80 year olds doing gymnastic or running marathons and saying “what is your excuse?” … as if “we” don’t have one… It’s one way to dump guilt on people for not reaching similar goals, but giving no plan to get there, talk about dumping guilt and making people feel as if these goals would be theirs as well, and then dumping them with no plan! (I also can’t stand them because there are WHOLE lot of us out here in the world who couldn’t do those things for a million extremely valid medical reasons no matter what we did!!So thanks for showing that down our throats people!!.. end of minor rant!)
So back to today being January the first 2016 and do I have any New Year Resolutions? Well no, because as I said I am not really into them. But all my adult life my health has suffered and no year as badly as last year. I am soooo thankful for a diagnosis, but it came too late to save my thyroid or my right ovary, and too late to prevent all kinds of damage done in the name of trying to fix me all these years. Last year I spent most of it immobilised due to to my LFI, in the name of trying to “fix” it, but all that resulted from that is that I lost my muscle tone throughout my body, which was supporting my crappy tendons and now my body is falling apart. I put on ten kilos due to the pain meds and couch rest, and now can’t get rid of them due to my immobility and my health has deteriorated badly in a cycle that is going down hill FAST! My hernia and abdomen pain are debilitating and frustrating. And I can’t do much if any exercise until they are fixed and we are not yet sure that they can be. My food allergies and trying to eat well leave me bloated which pushes out the hernia and the pain is stealing my sleep which means that I am constantly exhausted, my brain is never far from brain frog, and I basically feel horrendous almost all of the time.
At this rate another year down and I will be in serious trouble, and that is the last thing I need. A new year, a holiday, a change of scenery, are all good opportunities to take stock and make changes, and while I am not into new year resolutions, I am keen to make the most of this change of year. If I am not purposeful (not that I wasn’t last year); but I felt constantly behind the eight ball and it felt as though everything I did was hijacked! … I tried swimming and had a huge allergic reaction to the sun screen which took a month of meds to heal, then I got an ear infection which hung around for months before turning into an horrendous sinus infection which had me down for weeks… I tried to find ways around eating more fruit and veg which led to massive bloating and making the hernia worse… I tried losing the excess weight and in six months got NOWHERE!
I know that it was a little like trying to push wet spaghetti uphill, but if I keep losing the battle like this then, well, as I said, I will be in serious trouble! So I have a goal, and I am working on steps to get there… I NEED for 2016 to be a year where I re gain SOME measure of control over my situation!… so this is the basic plan, which I hope to flesh out over the next couple of weeks:
1: Spend some time going through the foods that I can eat and are good for me, and make a plan for buying cooking and storing. Some days I do not have the strength for any of those things, and standing in front of a stove or oven is rarely an option. I find it overwhelming to try and find things that I can eat, prepare them, and so on. I need to make a food plan, a way to cook and prepare quickly and easily and then store them so that I can grab them and eat them at very short notice and without too much effort.
2: I have also noticed that my hernia worries me less when my stomach is not too full, so not only do I need a food plan, but I am finding that 6-7 very small meals is working better for me than 3 large ones. So I need to get my head around trying to find that many things to eat each day that I can eat, and keep the portions small!
3: I HAVE to lose those 10kg this year! I have found that trying to lose a kg a month is almost impossible as it is too small and easily “lost” (as in didn’t happen) and so 500g a week makes more sense which equates to roughly 2kg a month. I am praying that points 1 & 2 will get the results I am looking for 🙂 So by July I would like to have lost the 10 kg and then the rest of the year sustain that for the long term.
4: Exercise is a tough one and something that is vital to my health! The water worked great (sunscreen reaction and ear infection aside!!) and it gave me my foot back (well, mostly anyway), but it is not weight bearing and while it strengthened my muscles from nothing to being able to stand again, it is not proving to be enough for me to keep my joints strong. So I want to start walking gently on a tread mill 4 times a week! Going to a gym is going to be sooooo hard for me, but it is a weekly goal not a random unobtainable pipe dream, and I don’t want to be too hard on myself, so maybe the minimum goal is 3 times a week?
5: Get going with that list of “parts” that make up the whole of my EDS. And start chipping away at each one and investigating and searching for solutions, support, and strategies.
This year I want to have any and all procedures done that can do the best possible to repair any of the old damage, and strengthen my body enough that I can know exactly what I am dealing with. At the moment everything seems to fit only on a vicious cycle that is draining me and making everything worse…
So here goes 2016!!